Message to Yankees Fans: Pray for Gardner’s Success

The Yankees need Brett Gardner to go on a tear over the next 15 days. Jeter is on the disabled list and if Gardner can have some success leading off in his absence maybe the Yankees can finally make the right decision and move Jeter down in the order. I know this has been written about over and over again but Jeter at this point of his career belongs nowhere near the top of the order and this is the time to move him down. I know he is close to 3,000 hits but winning and losing games are more important than personal milestones. (At least that’s what Jeter has always said)

The Yankees know at some point they have to do it and Girardi has already stated that it will happen eventually. Jeter has a slash line of .260/324/.324 which is pretty awful in its own right but even worse when you factor in he gets the most at bats on the team. I know he’s a double play machine and how could he not be hitting 66% of the balls he puts in play on the ground. However, this is no excuse to have the worst statistical hitter in your lineup getting the most at bats. This is not just some kind of trend because last year Jeter hit ground balls at the same rate and he obviously isn’t straightening himself out at the plate this year.

Let’s hope Gardner really tears it up and gives the Yankees no excuse but to continue to have him leading off. Gardner got off to an atrocious start but has picked it up over May and June to have a respectable .282/.362/.426 slash line. He’s also been red hot of late hitting .417 this June over 36 at bats. Gardner’s best attributes are his speed and ability to get on base so I feel like having him do anything but lead off is kind of a waste of his ability. Honestly at this point there is really nothing Brett Gardner will not give you that Derek Jeter does. He’s only 27 and I don’t quite think Gardner has reached his ceiling yet as a player.

I’m also in love the idea of pitchers having to worry about Gardner’s speed on base while pitching to the Granderson/Teixeira/A-Rod triumvirate. I know Gardner has been struggling running the bases but there’s no way he doesn’t put more pressure on opposing pitchers than 36 year old Jeter does at this point. He’s also seemingly too fast to continue to have these struggles. Hopefully Granderson will hit a few less solo shots with Gardner at the top of the order as well.

So let’s hope Gardner continues his hot hitting in June and gives the Yankees no option of putting him back down in the order. The Yankees need to put wins before legacies and milestones and I fail to see how it would be less special for Jeter to hit his 3,000^th batting 7^th rather than 1^st. I know ESPN and the New York media will play Jeter being moved down as some sort of insult to him just as they did with his overpriced contract in the off-season, but anyone who follows the Yankees knows this needs to happen. This is the time to do it. But hell, even if Jeter comes back to leadoff at least it makes more sense than this guy doing it.

A-Rod and Lebron are nothing alike

I’m listening to Colin Cowherd yesterday and during his rant of how Lebron disappeared in the Finals he stated that, “the only player I can even think of that compares to this is Alex Rodriguez.” I was confused by this statement but not terribly offended because Cowherd says baseless and stupid things just about daily. It’s kind of his job. Then I started to hear this comparison thrown around elsewhere in the media and by some of my friends, so I decided to write about it. Listen, Alex Rodriguez isn’t anything like Lebron James.

A-Rod struggled in the ALDS in 2006 and the media made a big deal out of it so of course, he’s the only guy we can compare to Lebron. This is an absolutely ridiculous argument. The most valuable player on a baseball team isn’t nearly as important as the most valuable player on a basketball team. That’s just how it is. Baseball is a series of individual match ups at the plate and A-Rod could have hit 400. in that series and the Yankees still would’ve lost because just about EVERYONE on the Yankees struggled in that series. A-Rod was the scapegoat of the series but “Captain Clutch” was even worse and he failed in every big situation.

I never bought this argument that A-Rod isn’t a clutch player because he’s one of the more clutch players in baseball. He hits very well with runners in scoring position, has several walk off hits in his career, and is probably the best bases loaded hitter of all time. Also, remember that time had one of the best post-season performances in baseball history in 2009 that carried the Yankees to a World Series title? Where’s the argument here?

It’s a fallacy to begin with saying A-Rod isn’t clutch and it’s even more ridiculous to suggest that what Lebron went through in the NBA Finals is even remotely the same. Lebron looked like he was going to poop his pants in the 4^th quarters during the Finals and A-Rod had big hits and crushed the baseball in the 2009 World Series. Lebron averaged 18 points a game in the Finals after averaging almost 28 during the season. Compare him to the other players who’ve choked in the NBA Finals before you compare him to one of the best baseball players ever who has absolutely no problem hitting in the clutch.

Just because both these players have been over scrutinized by the media doesn’t make them remotely the same. The scrutiny of A-Rod was unfair when it was happening and continues to be unfair if people actually think this guy isn’t clutch. Lebron wasn’t the same player in the Finals and A-Rod put the World Series away with his clutch hitting, again, what’s the comparison here? Really, if you know tell me.

Lebron and Wade Blew It

Usually the media gets a little carried away with criticizing great players in big moments. (See Alex Rodriguez) In the case of the NBA Finals though, Lebron James and Dwyane Wade blew the series. I know you can argue they don’t have the supporting cast or that Chris Bosh is really ugly and difficult to play with, but the fact is the Mavericks didn’t have anyone who should’ve been able to stop these guys. It’s pretty obvious that the Heat only go as far as Lebron and Wade take them and they just didn’t show up in the Finals.

Give credit to the Mavs, they outplayed, outhustled, and outcoached the Heat. It’s pretty simple, the Mavs were a deeper team that not only wanted it more, but just executed a game plan much better. I want to give the Mavs all the credit in the world but I just keep coming back to the fact that the Mavs used Shawn Marion, Jason Kidd, Deshawn Stevenson, Jason Terry, and JJ Barea to guard Wade and Lebron and it worked. I mean there’s so much to say about it. How the hell does this happen?

Let’s start with Wade. I half expected Lebron to disappear because I’ve seen him do it before but the fact that Wade didn’t just dominate this series shocked me. I remember thinking “if the Mavs think they can put Kidd on Wade this series, they’re crazy.” I kept waiting for that point where Wade just realized nobody could guard him and would just go on to torch the Mavs. It never happened and it made me realize something that is probably the most neglected story of the “Big Three Seven Championship Dynasty”. Dwayne Wade is past his prime.

He is. He just isn’t the same player he was in 2006 and he just isn’t the same player he was a few years ago. I kept expecting him to just explode to the basket but it just wasn’t there. Time after time Wade drove past Jason Kidd but just couldn’t use his patented 3-4 step athletic burst past the help defense he’s known for. I know the Mavs played some great team defense and Wade might have been hurt, but that only furthers the point. He’s not the same guy. He’s not a top 3 player in the NBA like everyone says he is. Not anymore.

I’m not saying he’s not an amazing player but we’re talking about a guy who’s a step slower, injury prone, doesn’t have a jumper, and isn’t really that effective of a passer. If he’s not beating guys in their 30’s to the basket at 29, how is he going to be when he’s 32-33? I know Wade is a crazy athlete but he certainly looked physically run down in the Finals and even at times in the Conference Finals. You can argue he’s hurt but I’d argue that he’s not going to stop getting hurt unless he stops playing 40 minutes a game. Unfortunately for the Heat when you have 3 guys making 17 million on your roster you don’t have that luxury.

This is why whether he likes it or not, Lebron has to be the man on this team. What I saw in the Finals was a team that was just begging Lebron to take over but he just refused. He kept deferring to Wade and Wade kept taking 9 steps to a crazy shot and complaining he got fouled. It was one of the more interesting dynamics I’ve seen on a court and probably the most interesting story in sports over the next few years.

So Lebron needed to be the man and he decided to soil his pants instead. Yeah I know his numbers don’t look that terrible but one of those two guys had to dominate for them to win that series. That’s how they beat the Sixers, Celtics, Bulls, and it’s how they had to beat the Mavs. The point I knew that Lebron wouldn’t be the man in this series is when the Mavs put Kidd on him in Game 4, just daring him to play like he always does. He should’ve simply dominated that situation and he just choked. There’s no other way to put it. How can he go from playing well against Paul Pierce and Luol Deng then not just dismantle 38 year old Jason Kidd? He wanted no part in that situation and I just don’t get that. Did he really think coming to Miami was going to give him a pass from these situations?

Lebron needs to work on his game and I am not convinced that he does. I’ve always suspected this considering he’s the exact same player he was 4-5 years ago but during his postgame press conference he kind of took it upon himself to talk about how hard he works when the camera’s aren’t there.  It almost looked like he was trying to convince himself that he has worked very hard. He also made it clear to say he listens to no one and this is very obvious considering he hasn’t fixed any of the flaws in his game. Maybe he should be listening to some people. Maybe he should learn how to play in the post. Maybe if he had a go to style in crunch time he wouldn’t be scared shitless when it came around.

Quite frankly, if Lebron James is not hitting 3’s at the end of a game he has nothing else. He can’t shoot mid-range, he has no post game, and he has TERRIBLE footwork.  I do mean terrible footwork too. This is something I watched closely this series and it was even worse than I expected it to be. He shuffles his feet just about every time he touches the ball, takes at least 3 steps every time he drives, and changes his pivot foot constantly. It appalls me every time I see Lebron drive out of control, travel, and initiate contact and get bailed out with a foul call. In the Finals Lebron was so scared of the moment that he didn’t even do that.

It all comes down to the fact that Lebron is a one of a kind athlete but he doesn’t have the basketball fundamentals or the mental toughness to lead a team to a championship right now. Miami has very little roster flexibility after stupidly signing Mike Miller and Udonis Haslem to long term deals so this team is probably going to be very similar to the one next year. Bosh is good but not great, Wade is breaking down, and if Lebron doesn’t improve these things we’ll be talking about the Heat as the most disappointing team of all time. Lebron didn’t show up in the 4^th quarter of the Finals once the entire series and until that changes there won’t be a championship for Miami. Miami’s window for winning a championship is much smaller than people think too. Wade won’t be this good for much longer and if the Heat want to win Lebron has to elevate his game crunch time.

It’s all on him and it will continue to be until he gets a ring. Just following his career and his postgame statements throughout the years it’s pretty obvious he’s not a very mature guy and that’s probably why he folds in these situations. He actually thought it was a good idea to make a statement about everyone who hates him having to continue on with their lives instead of just saying, “I blew it and I’m going to work as hard as possible to make sure it doesn’t happen again.” He’s clearly not over The Decision and clearly not over everyone hating him. Until he is we might never see a title in Miami.

Did anyone actually watch Plaxico Burress play?

Plaxico Burress is returning to the NFL from his “made an example of” prison sentence and the speculation of where he is going to go has been mind numbingly stupid. This is sport media now though, making predictions without any kind of basis or evidence. It’s highly likely the Eagles will sign Burress according to ESPN because Andy Reid likes rebuilding projects. He’s also been linked with the Giants and Jets. The Giants obviously because he played their and the Jets because a couple people in ESPN think he might sign there too. I don’t understand the point of this pointless speculation without actually interviewing or talking to anybody involved.

But this article by Ian O’Connor takes the cake. It’s an article that is essentially a warning to NFL teams to be wary of signing Burress. Is this an article that needs to be written? The guy just got out of prison and had some character issues on and off the field before that, I don't think we need to state that there is some risk in signing him. Thank god you and all your infinite wisdom realize this could be a potential risk for a team.

My biggest problem with this "no duh" column is the way O’Connor described why the Giants were unlikely to sign Buresss.

Burress already blew up their shot at a second consecutive championship, perhaps even a dynasty, when the loaded and unlicensed Glock he carried into the Latin Quarter that fateful November 2008 night went off and blew a hole in his leg.

Really? Burress blew the Giants shot at a championship that year and a potential dynasty? Did you watch the Giants in 2008? Plaxico Burress had 35 receptions in 10 games before he shot himself in the leg. Not exactly what I’d call Jerry Rice like. The reality of that season was that he was struggling and had been battling injuries all season. Not that losing Burress was a good thing for the Giants but he wasn’t a fixture of their offense at all. The Giants lost in the 2008 playoffs not because of losing Burress but because they no longer could rush the passer or run the ball, something they did better than just about everyone all year.

I mean a potential dynasty? This is the team that came out of nowhere to win the Super bowl in 2007 and you’re saying that they had a potential dynasty? You can even make an argument that in 2007 they got hot at the right time and beat three teams with better talent than them. So while the Giants were good in 2008, to say Burress, derailed a potential dynasty is just a ridiculous thing to say.

So here’s my hopefully accurate analysis of Plaxico Burress. He’s 6'5 with good hands, unreal leaping ability and is a pretty solid route runner. This comes with the price that he takes plays off, has a history of fighting with his teammates and organizations, is inconsistent from game to game, and is frequently injured. Having watched him his whole career to me he looked like a guy on the downside of his career and now has been out of football for 3 years. Unless prison rejuvenated him I can’t see him being a game breaker for a good NFL team. This isn’t to say he won’t be useful but he’s certainly going to get more attention than he deserves this off-season.

Tom Ford: 2011’s Biggest Douche in the Universe

Fashion mogul Tom Ford released his five commandments to being a modern day gentleman and they’re shockingly shallow and pretentious. So let’s break them down.

1. You should put on the best version of yourself when you go out in the world because that is a show of respect to the other people around you.

The refined way of saying if you do not dress well then you are not a gentleman. I mean clearly you are incapable of being a gentleman towards other people if you’re not dressed appropriately.

2. A gentleman today has to work. People who do not work are so boring and are usually bored. You have to be passionate, you have to be engaged and you have to be contributing to the world.

Well isn’t this vague. I guess it doesn’t matter how you contribute or what you work on but as long as you’re well dressed, engaged and passionate about it you’re a gentleman.

3. Manners are very important and actually knowing when things are appropriate. I always open doors for women, I carry their coat, I make sure that they're walking on the inside of the street. Stand up when people arrive at and leave the dinner table.

SHOCKER!!! Gentlemen use manners! How is this any different from our preconceived notions of being a gentleman?

4. Don't be pretentious or racist or sexist or judge people by their background.

Yeah, it’s not even slightly pretentious to make a list of commandments men can follow in order to be a gentleman like you.

5 A man should never wear shorts in the city. Flip-flops and shorts in the city are never appropriate. Shorts should only be worn on the tennis court or on the beach.

Don’t ever judge people by their background unless that background includes wearing shorts and sandals when it’s 95 fucking degrees in a city. Shorts are for upper class athletic activity or the beach, all gentleman know that! This is probably one of the more ridiculous things I’ve ever read in my entire life.

So obviously I’m not a fan of Tom Ford’s commandments but who could honestly read those and not make fun of this guy? To think you’re the authority on being a gentleman to begin with makes you a douche. When you use your own self proclaimed authority to construct a list of commandments on being a gentleman you become a super pretentious douche. When one of those commandments tells men to not be pretentious you are a totally self-unaware super mega douche. When the last commandment makes an arbitrary claim men can’t wear shorts and sandals in cities you win 2011’s Biggest Douche in the Universe award.

So congratulations Tom Ford, you are 2011’s Biggest Douche in the Universe! Enjoy this honor sweating in your pants and shoes all summer.